Faith Like a Child

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.Matthew 18:1-5

I don't know about you, but I live with three very active children. Their imaginations are large, and energy levels are high. Sometimes I wish I could catch a little of their energy for myself. I think a great deal of their ability to be so free comes from their total reliance on adults to meet their needs, which enables them to just be kids. I find that I get a taste of their creative and freeing mindset when I turn my issues over to my heavenly father. 

God is not a distant deity who we only have access to on the day we die-if you are a Christian you have access to him 24/7. He wants us to come to him like children with our issues of the day. When I'm up late because of another nightmare (the main way I relive Gideon's death or all the other potential tragic scenarios) I can pray to God for his peace. When I'm tired and ready to quit as a mother I can pray for His help to carry me through the day. When I'm facing another disappointment I can pray for clarity and perspective.

My children (mostly Will and Olivia) are still struggling to wrap their heads around a loving God and not having their baby brother at home - where they feel he should be. Olivia woke up the other morning crying because "our baby is not here." Will has been concerned about what he needs to do in order to go to Heaven so he will get to see Gideon there. They live in the present which makes the concept of Eternity hard to grasp. However, I know there was a reason Jesus instructed us to become like children.

Their innocence is so apparent...there is a real honesty...my 5 year old daughter will walk up to a complete stranger, tell them her brother was sick, and exactly what kind of illness he had. My oldest son is not shy about telling his siblings (or others for that matter) exactly how he thinks something should or shouldn't be. My youngest son is not at all bashful about correcting you if you guess incorrectly as to what he's pretending to be. They tell it like it is- that's refreshing when most of us are trying to put up a front about how we feel or what we think. God asks us to be honest with ourselves and with others, not in a mean way, but in a real and genuine way. In our honesty we find that we lack the ability to save ourselves or others.

I have to remind myself that I couldn't have done a thing to save Gideon. No amount of prenatal vitamins or bed rest was going to correct his issues. The induction date we decided on did not decide his fate-God was the only one in control. God knew how it was all going to go down, only He knew and we have to trust that God's going to make something beautiful out of it. I have no idea what all is going to come-but like a good parent God knows what the plan is for my days, weeks, months, and years. 

My kids wake up bright and early each day and their first question for the day is "what are we going to do today?" (quickly followed by "what's for dinner?"). Fortunately for them I usually have a rough plan for the day and for dinner ahead of time. But isn't that how we should begin each day? Talking to our Heavenly Father, asking him excitedly "What do you have in store for me today?" and then joyfully go forward doing what he calls us to do!

My favorite verses from when I was a child, going through chemotherapy for Leukemia, is found in Matthew 19:13-14:

13 Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

My daily prayer is that I will not hinder my children but draw them close to Jesus daily through our talks. Nothing makes me happier than seeing them really understand Biblical truths. And when times are hard there is no room for sugar coating, all that's left is honest truth. I was able to comfort my crying daughter by talking about where Gideon is. I can picture Gideon among the children that must be gathering around Jesus in Heaven. 

My husband and I have stepped up our pouring of God's word into our kids throughout our situation. I had started morning Bible time, long before we knew what was going on with Gideon, with my oldest leading it with reading aloud and quizzing his siblings. This was a wonderful use for the extra time my children have in the morning. It also became a safe place to talk about what we were going through at the time. We also have recently added weekly bible memory work and a fun "edible" devotion. It brings joy to my heart to hear my children repeat back verses they have learned. My daughter doesn't pronounce her "r"s very clearly so it was sweet to hear her repeat her John 1:1 verse "In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God." While learning this week's verse from Mark 12:30-"Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength"- my 21/2 year old mustered up his strongest facial expression and little boy strong arms. My oldest son practices his verses in the car on his way to school, it's the last thing he does before stepping into his school. I hope to keep soaking them with truth, hoping it calms their fears and helps heal their hearts! 

I would say my current rainbow is watching my children learn about God, and know that their futures are in his hand no matter what! Furthermore, their pure trust reminds me to daily hand over my ambitions and desires to God and delight that he sees me as his child!

1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

John 3:1-2