So I've been thinking a lot about how last weekend was our church's child dedication weekend. The concept of child dedication goes back to the Old Testament story of Hannah and Samuel in 1 Samuel chapter 1. Hannah was unable to have a child and cried out to God and promised Him that if He would grant her a son that she would dedicate him to the Lord. She in fact does have a son and names him Samuel. When her son is old enough she returns to the Lord's house and Samuel goes to live there for the rest of his life. This story takes on new meaning to me in regards to our Gideon.
We found out we were pregnant on Father's Day 2014 and were very excited about our next little family member. From the first moments I began praying for this next little one and hoping God would give me the strength to make it through my pregnancy-and balance being a mom to 3 other very active kids. My pregnancies are usually fairly painful and filled with preterm contractions. I received my normal stomach pain fairly quickly in the pregnancy-and I started getting my typical preterm contractions around 17 weeks into pregnancy-was put on "modified bed rest"-in our world modified bed rest means mommy sits down a lot-there is very little bed involved and it should really be called couch rest since my days are spent as a stay at home mom- I found a daily need to surrender it to God in order to make it through the day. When we found out all of Gideon's issues I began praying for a miracle but at the same time surrendering him and my situation over, once again, to God.
It's easy to recognize God's sovereignty when all is well but when life seems to crash it's much harder. I believe God is good even on my worst days-God doesn't change-there is no moving and turning with Him-His ways are always beyond our limited understanding. Each and every day of my pregnancy it was a choice between faith and fear-God granted me extra faith on the bleak days when I prayed to him in the middle of the night.
We chose life when doctors offered death-I still remember a doctor telling me "No one would blame you if you chose to terminate since you have very hard pregnancies and you cannot be guaranteed to even meet him alive"-termination was not an option in our minds and I craved as much time as I could with him-even towards the end of my pregnancy when every moment was a battle against pain and contractions I still cried out to God that I would stay pregnant forever if it meant we got to keep feeling Gideon kicking around in there-
We chose hope even when doctors offered skepticism. Each doctor visit my doctor nervously got out the monitor at each appointment hoping to hear his little heart beat-When we had our last in office visit with her-she had been distracted the weekend before considering our situation-she was on call at our hospital of choice the next weekend and stressed that if we wanted a chance at taking Gideon home for any period of time that January 31st was our best option (as opposed to waiting until the following Thursday-Feb 5th-That day became the day we had our celebration of life service)-She was there for the whole event and was the one to speak for us when we had no voice-even though he did not get to come home with us-Gideon made it farther than my doctor had ever seen a baby of his condition go.
No I didn't get to stand on stage with Gideon in his handsome little outfit while pictures of him played on a big screen in the background-like we have with our other 3 children. However, I can rest in the reality that just as Hannah handed Samuel back to God-we handed our Gideon to God. We may not have gotten to teach Gideon about God-but He is getting first hand experience of God's goodness-Gideon is living in the house of the Lord forever!
One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
Psalm 27:4
One good that has already come out of the situation with Gideon is all the teaching moments we have had with our oldest son. We have had many discussions on why God can't just come down and make everything perfect here on Earth-That Gideon is healed in Heaven-The concepts of salvation and baptism (we believe in letting our children decide to make faith their own-to understand all that Jesus did for them- and then be baptized once they have made that decision in their hearts to follow him)-We have talked about the new life after one has asked Jesus into your heart-We are answering in as much detail as our son can handle-if God is able to use Gideon to reach into our other children's hearts-to turn them toward him even more-we will welcome that good.
Another wonderful Bible passage that is usually incorporated in our child dedication services comes from Deuteronomy 6:6-9
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
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