Thankful

Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.

Daniel 6:10

A couple weeks ago the Bible study I participate in was studying the life of Daniel. When Daniel was carried off into captivity he was a mere teenager but he already had a strong foundation of faith. He boldly continued to follow God even with the pressure of a foreign government and culture. He dared to ask for different food early on and showed his loyalty to God. Later in his life under the rule of a different king he was challenged by jealous associates to abandon his prayer life. However, consistently he showed who was first in his life. It challenges me to reevaluate my response to pressure. Do I continue to chase after God or do I cave into the pressure? Lately I've had the opportunity to make daily choices as to where I will turn.

My normal pregnancy contractions have started back up. I have been waiting for the shoe to drop and sure enough a couple weeks ago my body caught up with me. Each day I have at least an hour and half of contractions, but at least twice a week the contractions will continue on for 5-6 hours. It's always a balance to figure out how much I should be concerned about them. Last week I had Mark stay home because I went to bed with contractions and then woke up with contractions... I felt like there was a small chance my doctor would make me come in. Thankfully I got the best nurse to talk to when I called in, I quickly explained that I would prefer to have my doctor call in a second type of pill for me as I've started having more contractions but this is baby # 5 so we know that we are not quite at the point of going into labor and delivery. Her response helped calm any fears that she would send me right to Labor and Delivery-She calmly said "5th pregnancy? You are my favorite kind of patient, I'll pass the message onto your doctor and will call you back when she responds." So happy for a nurse that didn't immediately quiz me about how much water I've had, if I laid on my left side, if I had more than 6 contractions in an hour. My doctor did in fact call in the script but gave strict instructions that if both IB profen and Procardia do not work to stop them, then I am to go to Labor and Delivery. Thankfully so far both meds acting together have done the job, even if sometimes it takes a little longer to kick in.

Both Mark and I have been hit with varying emotions regarding the holiday season. In many ways we are very thankful for the busyness of the season which we hope will make the last trimester appear to go faster. We really enjoyed all the family time we got in over our long Thanksgiving weekend. We were able to spend Thanksgiving with Mark's extended side. Friday we got to find our Christmas tree among many frozen trees. Saturday we enjoyed decorating our tree while sipping hot chocolate, making Christmas cookies, and snuggling and watching a Christmas movie. 

However, it's our first holiday season since losing Gideon. I was not sure how hard the emotions would hit us since we didn't have him home for any holidays, but there are many little things that hit like a ton of bricks. Setting out the Christmas decorations and seeing the empty stocking holder was hard-we will soon either purchase or make a Gideon stocking. I also put up a few ornaments that were given to us to remind us of Gideon, it was fairly emotional to place them. Even certain bible verses still hit me hard.

The people who walked in darkness

Have seen a great light;

Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death,

Upon them a light has shined.

Isaiah 9.2

This verse still brings up a lot of emotion and really gets to my heart...last year we felt as if we were living in the shadow of death. This year feels as if we are in-between the shadow of death from last January and the light God has graciously granted us to come in February. Even without a new one to look forward to there are so many moments of light that God has brought about for us when we had Gideon and after. We are thankful for the hope of this next little one...but there will always be a missing child at each holiday gathering, a missing laugh, and some missing presents. 

I'm thankful that we have the hope of Jesus, the real reason to celebrate Christmas. This Advent season our little family will be counting down to Christmas while learning the names of Jesus. 

http://www.spelloutloud.com/names-of-jesus-advent-chain.html

Many of his wonderful names are found in just two powerful verses!

For unto us a Child is born,

Unto us a Son is given;

And the government will be upon His shoulder.

And His name will be called

Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of His government and peace

There will be no end

Isaiah 9.6-7

We ask for continued prayers as we live with joy and anticipation of our coming little one... balanced by the physical and emotional pain from this pregnancy and the loss of our dear boy. We both remain thankful always that Christ did come to Earth and he made a way for our little boy to live forever in His presence! 

29 weeks with Gideon
November 2014

28 weeks with Eli
November 2015