Our Rainbow Arrives

So I've been wanting to write out Eli's birth story for some time, but taking care of a newborn is fairly distracting. In a few quiet moments I'm able to look back on the last couple weeks. The days and hours leading up to Eli's birth were filled with so many emotions mixed together. We were excited and elated that we would soon meet this little boy that we've been praying for. At the same time there was a bit of anxiety over when and how his birth would play out. Also I felt a sadness over moving away from the birth and loss of Gideon. I had an idea in my head, a vision of how I wanted his birth to happen, and once again God showed me that my plans are not his plans.

Love this of our Gideon pillow with Eli's quilt 

The week leading up to his birth included days of contraction cycles. The cycle would go something like this-contract for 2 to 2.5 hours with contractions growing stronger and closer together and then all contractions fizzle out for an hour or two then the cycle started all over. We knew I was already dilated to 5cm as of the 2nd of February, the Tuesday before his birth, so with each episode of contractions Mark was on high alert and ready to leave his office immediately if they persisted. By Friday, the 5th, he was ready to just start his leave on the off chance that contractions turned into the real thing.

Friday we went into full on preparation mode knowing at any moment I might have to go into the hospital. We did a grocery shop to pick up anything we needed to stock our pantry and hospital bags. While we were out shopping the contractions started back up and didn't fizzle out for a solid 3 hours so we made the decision to call in, just in case. When I spoke to the nurse she was very insistent that I drop everything and get myself to the hospital. So we brought the kids over to friends and grabbed all our necessities for the hospital. At the hospital the nurses already had my room prepped for delivery with a baby warmer and bassinet all set up. All the nurses were ready to run in and help deliver the baby as quickly as possible. But as it turns out those contractions were more practice for the big day. I was sent home still at a 5.

The next couple days my body decided to give me a little break from the practice. I appreciated the break as that Sunday our oldest was set to be baptized. Mark and I enjoyed getting a front row seat to Will's profession of faith and baptism. We got to enjoy his baptism day with some of our family and were able to take Will out to one of his favorite restaurants, Jose Peppers, to celebrate.

On Monday I had my last in office appointment and had an opportunity to discuss my options for inducement day. We decided if I wanted a fast labor and delivery that we would aim to start pitocin around 6 am and then my doctor would come in and break my water somewhere around 7:30 am. I've done inducements before so I felt confident in our plan of action.

Monday night, February 8th, Mark took the kids out to Eudora to stay with his parents since we had to leave at 5:30 am the next day to get to the hospital. I had a horrible night sleep that night, partly from nerves and partly from pain I started having over night. Mostly just a pressure type pain and I wrote it off as one of my typical pains.

We got out the door on time on February 9th and headed to the hospital. On the way there I started having the pain off and on but once again. However, I no longer trust my body with all the false labor scares I've had in the past. When we got to the hospital we were so relieved to know we were not going to be sent home this time! The nurse asked if I'd had any contractions or was I currently contracting? I explained that I'd had some pain off and on but we've had a lot of false labor. Sure enough once I got hooked up to the machines and was checked it was confirmed that I was already in labor. So we no longer needed the pitocin to kick things off. However, I did know I was going to want an epidural since I wanted to be totally in the moment when Eli came into the world.

Excited to meet Eli!
(Also early enough in labor to give a little smile)

So the nurses started to attempt finding a vein so they could start a central line. I warned them all that my veins are still horrible all these years removed from chemotherapy. Six attempts later the nurses conceded that they needed to call in the big guns. So they sent for anesthesiology which just made sense since I was going to eventually want an epidural. thankfully they were able to find a spot to start the IV and draw some labs. By this point it was around 7 am and my contractions were definitely getting stronger. The nurses also pointed out that my heart rate was high, to the point that it kept setting off the monitor. I knew I was somewhat anxious going into the labor, because part of me was not sure if I'd have my happy ending. Part of me was still waiting for a complication and I was not going to completely settle my mind until I heard Eli's first cry.

Last Belly picture

It took a while to get my labs back to confirm that I could get an epidural. Once we were all set for it I had a few moments of nerves about the epidural since it reminded me so much of my many spinal taps as a child, but that next contraction erased any concerns I had. The epidural was working by 8:30 am but the pressure was still there. My doctor came by and broke my water and by 9 am it was time to start pushing. It all happened a lot quicker than we were prepared for.

I am one of those women who generally pushes a few times and has a baby. Well Eli had other ideas, as I started pushing very little happened. He was still high and as it turns out his face was the wrong way, he was considered sunny side up. I pushed for a bit longer until my doctor recognized that we were not going to make any more progress through pushing. She opted for me to be rotated from side to side to try to get him to turn into the correct position. As the nurse carried out her instructions my doctor went to go check quickly on some other patients. I was given an oxygen mask and put into various positions to try to help Eli as much as possible. It was rough and I remember getting very sick to my stomach and shaking all over. Mentally I figured Eli was stuck and I was going to end up in a C section. The nurses on the floor were all either helping me or checking Eli's heart rate. There came a point where they could no longer wait for my doctor to return so they called in another doctor to help deliver him. When I tried pushing again it was much better and took only a short time before he was actually born. Then we held our breath as he didn't make an instant scream.

Apparently the cord was wrapped twice around his neck and was causing the silence that was so disconcerting. However they quickly brought him over to the warmer and jostled him a bit and we heard that sound we'd been aching to hear. He screamed so loudly and it was so beautiful to hear! It was the best feeling when they brought him over and I was able to look into his wide open eyes. All these little things we'd taken for granted before were treasured moments for us both. I'm so happy I was able to have all of these precious moments documented in pictures by a dear friend and birth photographer Morgan of Beautiful Birth Photography

http://beautifulbirthkc.com/

Walking out of the hospital with our baby in his car seat was an extremely emotional experience. It was even better looking in the back seat once we'd picked up the other 3 kids, to see our car loaded up with our family. Even days later certain things still bring me to tears, changing those tiny diapers remind me how blessed we are to be changing his diapers. I'm sure at some point I will not appreciate the diapers but for now we are enjoying all the things we missed out on with Gideon. I don't think Eli has spent much time out of our arms yet as each and every snuggle is so special to us. Being up late is still rough, I won't lie, but I remember last year crying over missing out on the late nights with Gideon. I remember telling Mark, "I shouldn't be this well rested right now." We will continue to treasure this wonderful gift God has so lovingly given us.

First time we realized we may need a mini van soon

Eli's full name is Eli Nathaniel DeArmond-Eli means God most High and Nathaniel means God has given or Gift of God. Also his initial spell END- We see this beautiful boy as God's beautiful finale, the last addition to our family. I still recall Mark saying one night, "we did it, we got the big family we always wanted." We always said we wanted 4-5 children from day one, by day one I mean even before we got engaged. We knew we wanted the big family even with the challenges we knew we would face with a bigger family. We looked forward to a house filled with much joy and laughter. Even farther down the road we looked forward to the day when our children were married and had children of their own and we would gather together. We are so thankful God has graciously given us our deepest desire for our family. We know only God was responsible for building our family and we are thankful each one of our blessings!

All of our little blessings 

Unless the Lord builds the house,

They labor in vain who build it;

Unless the Lord guards the city,

The watchman keeps awake in vain.

 It is vain for you to rise up early,

To retire late,

To eat the bread of painful labors;

For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

 Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one’s youth.

 How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;

They will not be ashamed

When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127

Beauty from Ashes

 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:4 

So our family survived January, the month of Gideon's earthly and heavenly birthday. I won't lie, January was an extremely emotional month for me. I felt caught between two worlds moving in opposite directions. I had prenatal care for a little boy that should be arriving very soon, but all the time remembering having similar but very different prenatal appointments for Gideon. We had our ultrasound for Eli the Tuesday before Gideon's birthday. Almost exactly a year prior we had an ultrasound for Gideon...it was the appointment at which we decided to induce on the 31st. The timing overlap between the pregnancies is overwhelming at times, but healing at other times. At Eli's scan we were able to see a very healthy and big boy predicted to weigh around 7 or 8 pounds at birth.... in comparison to Gideon's scan where it showed him to be somewhere around 4 pounds, and he was 3 pounds 12 oz at birth.

At the appointment prior to my ultrasound for Eli my doctor made the discovery that our ornery Eli had been playing the acrobat and flipped himself to a breach position. So there were a few days of concern that after my ultrasound the next week we would be talking terms such as C section and EVC (External Cephalic Version)-where the doctor physically turns baby head down-both options did not sound pleasant to us. So had you stopped by the next night after the first appointment you may have seen me laying on a bookshelf  balanced on our couch with my head on the ground and my feet on the couch..yes I was willing to do anything so this boy would flip! (The website suggested an Ironing board but I nearly broke ours before actually laying on it so we went with a bookshelf instead) Thankfully at the ultrasound he was head down. However he was not content to stay in that position and just this last Monday he was found to be back in the breach position. So the next day we went back in for another ultrasound and he was in fact back to head down. I just laughed it off with my doctor that it wouldn't be one of my pregnancies without something crazy going on. 

On the 31st of January we had some nice weather in Kansas and were able to go to a park to release some balloons to Gideon. Each one of our children had a different idea of what Gideon's favorite color was so we let them each pick their own colored balloon. Later we went home and made some homemade pizzas and cupcakes to celebrate the little boy that is celebrating far away from us. We talked with the kids about what they thought Gideon was doing in Heaven on his birthday. Mark and I had our emotional moments in the day, but overall the day was characterized by peace and trust that God is taking care of our little boy.

The trust in God that we have learned more deeply through this whole experience has also led our oldest to make a very big decision. Will has decided to fully place his trust in God and knows that it boils down to doing what God wants over what he wants. It means that he isn't perfect and only Jesus was perfect and took on the punishment so we can join him in Heaven. I find it another beautifully timed event that God foreknew ahead of time. He knew one year after Will said goodbye to his little brother that he would learn to trust God and follow him, and one day he will get to see his brother again!

In this picture Will is waving good bye to Gideon and saying "See you later"...We know he will see Gideon later in Heaven! We look forward to watching Will get baptized tomorrow morning at our church service (10:45) and celebrate his birth into the family of God!

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. 

1 John 3.1